Would you give your partner a holiday or hall pass from your relationship? Would you want such a holiday for yourself? A holiday or hall pass would provide you or your partner permission to have a brief sexual encounter with someone you choose with no penalty.

Did that get you thinking?  

Let’s face it. After several year in a monogamous relationship, people tend to start looking at other people. You may love and appreciate your partner more than the day you married, but the sight of an attractive different person gets your attention. It may start while you watch movies or television shows, then go forward to in-person looks. Even if you have an attractive partner, over time other people get your attention. This attention may be momentary or become an obsession. Wives have long criticized their husband for looking at other women who caught their attention. The wife did not like another woman grasping the attention of her husband.

Even if you like steak, you do not want it every meal for a week or more. Forgive the comparison, but we may enjoy the romance and passion of our partner for a long time. Eventually there comes a day when your attention, even if very briefly, turns to a person you see. This does not mean you do not love your partner. It just indicates your humanity. In reality, I am sure husband, boyfriends, wives and girlfriends look at attractive people also.

In reality, more couples and people engage in extra connections than in years past. People have a more open and liberal view of sex today.  

Some men now openly allow and encourage their wife or girlfriend to have a boyfriend or brief encounter. Some men enjoy the idea or even watching their lady having sex with another man. That other man or woman is a fantasy they have. If a woman wants a trist, the person has little similarity to their current partner. Often the female wants a man with a nicer body, a larger “manhood” and different physical appearance. Why would you want an encounter with someone like your current partner? As men grow older, they tend to accept and embrace this for their female partner.  

Women often accept their male partner having a sexual encounter with another person. Men can usually have sex with no romance. Women usually need some romantic connection to enjoy sex with a man. Women accept a man wanting and needing extra. As well, women sometimes lack the sexual desire to meet the desire of the man in their relationship. Often a wife will accept her husband having an encounter, but does not want to know about it. One wife told me she just expected her husband to have an occasional sexual encounter and that was okay with her as long as he did not tell her.

Over several years the occasional look at another person grows into more. The first several months or even years your attention and passion focuses on your partner. Eventually you may want to taste something else. Should you?

A hall pass might develop in this manner.

• Most individuals in a relationship do not and would not ask for a hall pass. 
• You may have discussed a threesome in a moment of passion with your partner. The excitement it brings to that moment makes you think about the possibilities in real-life.
• As you watch a movie together you ask each other about the attractiveness of a character. You maybe discuss parts like her breasts, or his masculine chest and abs. The conversation excites you both. The discussion gives you both the feeling of approval to talk about the subject again and openly. If your partner criticizes your comments or questions about the attractive person, you probably drop the subject from your conversation for a long time. If you discuss the person, you think he/she might approve of further comments about a person you see. It encourages the conversation to continue.
• After one or more times talking about an encounter with someone else in the bedroom, you might discuss it out of the bedroom. If you can discuss it during the daylight hours, you have a viable topic. is a long form text area designed for your content that you can fill up with as many words as your heart desires. You can write articles, long mission statements, company policies, executive profiles, company awards/distinctions, office locations, shareholder reports, whitepapers, media mentions and other pieces of content that don’t fit into a shorter, more succinct space.

In a few days we will add two additional posts about a hall pass.  We examine the positives, negatives, and how to make it work.